“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given,
and the government shall be on his shoulders. And he will be called
Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father,
Prince of Peace.”
Isaiah 9:6

“Consider it pure joy my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2-4

Peace. Joy. Hope. These are three powerful attributes, especially at Christmastime. But how can you have peace in the middle of the hardest days? How can you sleep at night, knowing that cancer is inside your body? How can you have hope and keep from slipping into worry, into panic, into freaking out because your family member is now under attack from an awful disease? How can you have joy instead of despairing as you look at the mountain ahead, knowing that the journey will demand every ounce of your energy, your spirit, and your strength? My answer is Jesus. And yes, it is that simple.

I won’t lie. The last two and a half weeks have been some of the hardest days of my life. My family and I have been riding waves of humanity. Some days one of us is up, the others are down, the other days I’m WAY down, and they are there to help and comfort. We have never experienced this kind of fear and emotion. I’ll say that I think I’ve gone through the 5 stages of grief at least like 50 times already. But in those sleepless nights, in the tears, in the honesty of this awful diagnosis, Jesus has shown up. We have been praying that Jesus would give us wisdom and peace as we walk, and He’s answering. We’re still human, but He’s here. He is my Peace. He is the reason I can choose joy, even when I don’t feel it.

This week, we had our Christmas program at my church. It’s a large church, with multiple choirs, an orchestra, and all sorts of beautiful ways to express the greatness of the Lord. I had the exciting privilege of leading the middle school choir, helping backstage, playing Mary in the Nativity scene, and singing a solo about Jesus. It was such a comfort to my life as I sang of my Savior and Lord. He saved me from my sins, and He is right here with me in the middle of my storm.

“Captivator of the searching heart, this Jesus, so precious. Mender of a million shattered parts, this Jesus, relentless. Oh, oh, this Jesus… So wonderful, so beautiful, so kind and lovely, isn’t He? Isn’t He? Beyond compare, treasure rich and rare, marvelous and holy, isn’t He? Isn’t He? Giver of a grace that none could earn, this Jesus, extravagant. Keeper of His promise and His Word, such goodness, such faithfulness!”

12/13-12/15 I sang this song “Isn’t He?” by Mia Fieldes, Seth Mosley, Andrew Holt, & Natalie Grant

To LITERALLY hold a baby (representing Jesus), and think about Emmanuel, GOD WITH US. WOW! To worship my Jesus, to sing my faith right now, is the most powerful weapon against what I am fighting. Emmanuel, God is WITH ME! God KNEW I needed this. It ministered to my heart to focus on the name of Jesus, to sing out loud His sovereignty, to declare that He has the authority over my life, and I am HIS! Cancer can’t take that away from me. Jesus is mine and I am His FOREVER!

And my prayer is that when people heard the songs, or saw our program, they would accept Jesus into their own hearts, and believe. I hope God uses my story to share the gospel. He died for you! He rose again! He loves you! He is right there with you! He is WORTHY! Believe in Jesus, and you will be saved!

We told our church and many people about my situation and the response of PRAYER has been overwhelming! WOW! To have so many people praying for me is humbling to say the least. We are so grateful. We need the prayer, and are taking each day, one step at a time. Keep praying, don’t stop. The journey is long, and it is only beginning.

I have received many stories from women who have walked a similar journey! I’m honored that I was given special gifts given from survivors, and advice that has helped put things in perspective. All of these women are success stories, filled with the same heartaches, but also with HOPE! I never knew I walked among an army of women who have gone down this path before. To the survivors, you are beautiful. You are strong. Thank you for sharing your journeys with me.

So, in the peace, joy, and hope we have in Jesus. Let’s talk about the next few days. I have a little break until my next round of appointments.

• My next appointments are:
• #1. Wednesday morning – Oncologist. This will probably be the meeting when I find out what kind of cancer treatment I’m going to have. The options are Chemo, Radiation, or Hormone therapy, or some combination of the 3. We’ll see what the doctor decides.
• #2. Wednesday afternoon – Dr. W: Breast Specialist. This is a follow up appointment. There’s a chance I’ll find out the results of the genetic test at this appointment, but I’m not sure yet. Pray that BRACA 1 & 2 and HER 2 are NEGATIVE! We will discuss plans for surgery and work through all the information I have gathered so far.
• #3. Thursday morning – Possible Surgeon. This will be a consultation of the type of surgery I will have. This is my second consult, I had another consultation last Tuesday as well. Basically gathering information so I can make decisions on my surgery. Hopefully we will have a surgery date finalized in the next 1-2 weeks.

Derek is cleared to get off work to take me to these next appointments. Praise the Lord for the precious choir director at school who has been covering Derek’s classes. We can’t even begin to tell you how much that has helped us!

Once I have more clarity on my schedule in regards to my surgery, I can prepare so much better for how to set up my recovery time. I’ve been nervous about how to encourage my teams at work, to set them up for success if/when I need to sit out during recovery. Everything is up in the air right now (which is driving me a little crazy). I’ve got some encouraging team leaders though! And people who are stepping up to help in many areas to keep things running while I’m recovering.

I currently work for two places. I am a teacher at a homeschool co-op, teaching Musical Theater (and other classes). I also work at my church, directing the middle school Worship Choir. I LOVE my students, and I have the most incredible adult helpers in each area where I work. Thankfully, both jobs have December off, which gives me time to set up my cancer fight, as well as prepare lesson plans.

Pray that God continues to provide people to cover my work responsibilities, and that I can do what I can to create plans for my subs while I am away from work (if I’m away from work.) I don’t know how long I will be out, nor how my body will respond to treatment. Some people recover quickly and continue working, and some people are down for the count. I am praying for wisdom on how to be pro-active in supporting my teams at school and at church during this season.

Waiting on surgery details is also making us unsure of our holiday plans. Our families have been so gracious and sweet to us, making sure that we know how much they love us, and making us smile through this process. Derek and I love you all so much!Thanks to you guys as we work it all out.

I’m hoping that my surgery dates allow for us to still have fun, to celebrate the season, and enjoy family times together! We’ve got our house mostly decorated (my favorite part of Christmas), but since we moved this last year, the one missing part is our box of ornaments! Silly, I know, but I’m hoping to find them soon. My Christmas wishes are hugs from family, laughter, warm fire, deep conversations, good movies, great food, cookies, making candy, singing together, doing fun things together, and praising Jesus. That’s my biggest wish, is to get some precious time together with everyone!

Today, here is how you can pray:

• Pray for peace for Hannah, Derek, and our families as we walk through this together.
• Pray for PEACE, JOY, AND HOPE through strong emotions, anxieties, and questions.
• Pray for the genetic test to be NEGATIVE! Negative on BRACA 1&2 and HER2
• Pray for wisdom on surgery decisions, that God will guide us to the best fit for Hannah.
• Pray specifically for the surgery date, that it would be at just the right time, and that recovery will go well.
• Pray for CHRISTMAS! That it will be a peaceful and fun time, & that we can enjoy family and friends in spite of this hard time.
• Pray for Hannah’s work, that God will provide the right people to cover any missed work, and that Hannah will know what plans to put in place to help each group succeed both in her church middle school choir program and her musical theater program.
• Pray that the breast cancer cells would stay put, and not move to the lymph nodes.
• Pray for my specialists, and the other surgeons and doctors to come.
• Pray that God would bring opportunities for us to share the love and grace of the gospel of Jesus Christ with others through this hard time.

Peacefully, Joyfully, Hoping,
Hannah Rock

“Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” Romans 5:3-4

Hello everyone, my name is Hannah Rock.

I want to begin this journey by saying that although I am afraid, I know that God is with me, and with everyone that I love so much. I decided to start this blog to ask you to pray, to update everyone on how things are going, and to testify to how God is working in the midst of great fear.

I want everyone to know that God is not doing this TO me. I believe very strongly in a biblical worldview, where sin entered the world (Genesis 3, Romans 5:12) and through sin came death. Death and disease are a part of the Fall of man. Cancer is a product of the Fall. God is able to heal and He tells us in times like these to pray and ask for healing (James 5:13-15). I also know that God uses everything, and even if He doesn’t work how we expect, we will still see Him work! (Daniel 3:16-18)

I know that God knew what would happen, and nothing catches him off guard. Jesus is my defender, and my relationship with Him is the greatest comfort through all of this. I know that whenever the Lord calls me home (hopefully when I am old and wrinkly), I have put my faith in Jesus Christ. He is my Lord, and Savior, and my very present help in times of trouble. I will be in heaven because I believe in Jesus, and will be with him one day, singing His praises forevermore. But until that day, the fight continues. Each day is a gift, and the road will be difficult, but I will yet praise God for every breath and chance I have to love Him and love others.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I think best chronologically. I will put a list of things to pray about at the end. I’m sorry in advance for the many words as I am also processing this journey through writing. If you want a shorter list to pray for, scroll to the bottom. Here is my story:

In August 2019, I found a lump in my breast that seemed small. Nothing to worry about, but just in case, I kept an eye on it. In September, it kept bothering me, so I talked with my mom and decided to go get it checked out. I went to be seen and was told that it was probably what is called a fibroadenoma (a benign tumor). This is normal for women in their 20’s and 30’s. But just in case, I was sent to an imaging center for them to take a ultrasound just in case.

I went to get an ultrasound done, and they said because of my age (I’m 29) that I wasn’t old enough to require a mammogram. The ultrasound showed a large mass about 4 centimeters. They were very concerned and sent me to go meet with a breast specialist.

I met the most kind breast surgeon. She is WONDERFUL! She met with me and explained that we had a few options. We could do a biopsy and find out if it was benign or cancer, or we could set up surgery and take the whole thing out. I took wise advice and went ahead with the surgery.

On November 22, I had a lumpectomy, where they took out what we thought was a benign cyst. They sent off the tumor for pathology testing.

After the results came in, they called me. I was alone when I got the call.

“Mrs. Rock, I’m so sorry to call you like this, but your tumor was not benign. You have breast cancer.”

Words cannot describe how shocked I was in that moment. How am I going to tell everyone? Am I going to die? How can I have cancer at 29? What??? Many questions raced but I was frozen in fear. I told them I would call them back, and decided to go ahead and start telling our immediate family.

Over the next few days, we called the doctor back and set up follow up appointments. We rallied family, friends, co-workers, and people to pray. We had to explain the details many times, and often got emotionally exhausted from relaying the same information many times. We love each and every person, and it broke our hearts to hear them cry, gasp, or be dumbfounded. We also praised God for each one walking beside us in prayer, encouraging words, kind texts/FB messages, sending worship music and Scripture verses, etc. Your love is precious, and we are thankful for all of you.

I cried oceans of tears that week between my results and my follow up appointment with the doctor. The weird feeling of the unknown. What’s going to happen? How is God going to provide? Am I secure in my salvation? What about my work? Will my husband be okay? I waited and cried, and worked on menial house chores to keep my mind distracted. Derek has been a ROCK (no, but seriously) for me all week. He held me while I cried, helped me call people, talked with me and made sure I’m doing okay, prayed over me, watched movies with me, and just fervently loved me through it all. I can’t imagine walking this road without him. He is walking beside me every day, loving me and encouraging me constantly.

Post Op appointment came, and Derek took a half day at work. We went together and had what I believe to be the hardest day so far. A LONG detailed meeting. We went through my results. Stage 2 Invasive Breast Cancer. Grade 3 tissue. 4.8 centimeters large.

I took a Genetic test to test for what’s called the BRACA1 or BRACA 2 or the HER2 gene. I’m still learning about all of the terms, but basically this gene lets us know if there’s a high risk for breast cancer (which, duh, I already have it but also in the future) and risks of ovarian cancer. So we WANT THIS TO BE NEGATIVE! Pray that this comes back negative, especially.

We then discussed deeply personal options for surgery. Which broke my heart and made me feel very scared. The doctor was very kind, patient, and even gave me a hug and cried with me through it. Derek kept notes of our appointment (because he’s awesome). The options for surgery do affect my chances of the cancer returning or not returning in the future. Pray for wisdom in this important decision.

I have a separate doctor, as my oncologist. She will be the one to determine what kind of cancer treatment to beat the cancer cells. My first meeting with her is December 18th. My breast specialist discussed the possibilities of what the oncologist will choose for treatment. There are 3 kinds of battle plans when it comes to breast cancer hormone therapy, chemo, or radiation. We are waiting to see which one will be recommended. Whatever treatment they recommend for surgery and for fighting cancer cells, I know will be for my best survival and best chance of not just treating my stuff for 10 years, but for 50 years and beyond.

We asked every question we could think of with my breast specialist. Many tears and overwhelming feelings. She answered each question, and gave us not one, not two, but like 7 or 8 details that were emotional to talk about. I could handle one or two, but my heart was on overload and my head was spinning when we went home.

I went home and was in grief over the decisions that need to be made. I’m so young and want to make wise decisions. But cancer is scary, and each decision has pros and cons. I wept uncontrollably that afternoon, and got so stressed that I got migraine and got sick to my stomach. Fear won that night. Derek called our worship pastor and told him to ask the choir and orchestra to pray. We are so thankful for our church family.

In addition to my doctor’s appointment, The office set up an MRI. Yesterday, I went to the hospital to have an MRI. I walked up to the front counter and checked in, and met the sweetest lady. (I’ll call her P.) P asked me what was going on and I told her I had been diagnosed with breast cancer, and that I was coming to have an MRI done. She smiled at me and said, “No honey, you don’t have breast cancer, you gotta problem, and we’re gonna pray it away in the name of Jesus.” At this point I was thankful, but hesitant about what P was saying, until she went on. “I want to tell you honey, I had breast cancer 2 times, and the Lord is gracious and merciful, and He heals. And we’re gonna pray that cancer away from your body. Who are your doctors?” I told her who I had. She then proceeded to throw both hands in the air and dance in her chair. She said, “Guess who I had? I had the same doctors! Praise the Lord, He has put you in good hands!” She got up and came around and hugged me in a big bear hug, right against her breast (not in a weird way, but I was tearful from the sweetness and the healing she had received, and it gave me hope.) Praise God for P, and her sweetness, and how He’s going to use the same doctors to heal my life in Jesus’ Name!

The MRI was next. The scariest thing about that for me was the IV. I am NOT a fan of needles, and have had many bad experiences with IV’s, but my nurse was very gentle and sweet. She took very good care of me. They usually don’t allow people to get an MRI until they have had a mammogram, but in my case, I already had a diagnosis, so they are fast-tracking everything. Praise the Lord. My nurse helped me into the alien abduction tube as I called it, and gave me headphones to listen to Christian music. It was a weird experience, as the MRI clicked and buzzed around me, it was loud and scary pulses, while the faint sound of worship music played in the background. I couldn’t help but remember Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego in the middle of the fire, with Jesus right there. They couldn’t escape but he was right there in the center with them. I felt His presence, in the middle of fear.

Today, I got a call from my breast specialist. The results came back from the MRI. There was no cancer in the left breast. There were some “left-overs” in my right breast that they didn’t get all, and some other abnormality spots around it on the right breast. This will give us information we need to decide my surgery option. They saw my right lymph node is enlarged, but they said that could be swollen because of my recent surgery but we don’t know for sure. When she goes to do the next surgery, she will take some lymph nodes out for testing to see if it has spread. All of the MRI information follows the information we already guessed. No real surprises. So that’s good.

The breast specialist heard from my oncologist that we will begin with surgery BEFORE cancer treatment. So that makes it even more emotional and rushed to make a decision about my options. Pray for peace and a clear decision. Everything is going so fast. My breast specialist contacted the other surgeons who will be calling soon to set up consultations, so I can learn more about my options.

Today, here is how you can pray:

*Pray for peace for Hannah, Derek, and our families as we walk through this fear together.
*Pray for comfort through strong emotions, waves of fear, anxieties, and questions. God is big enough to handle our tears, our raw feelings, and He loves us.
*Pray for the genetic test to come back NEGATIVE! Negative on BRACA 1&2 and HER2
*Pray for wisdom on surgery options, as we make swift decisions. Pray that God will guide us to the best decisions, with the best survival, best healing, and best fit for Hannah.
*Pray that the breast cancer cells would stay put, and not move to the lymph nodes.
*Pray for my breast specialist and oncologist, and the other surgeons and doctors to come.
*Pray that God would bring opportunities for us to share the love and grace of the gospel of Jesus Christ with others through this hard time.

Joyfully, through fear, trusting Christ,
Hannah Rock